Jan 31, 2006

Possible eBay

as much as i hate the eBay, I am considering putting some stuff up before we move. I did this painting in oil, about 2x3 feet, back in 2003...we'd only been living in Jason Voorheesville for about a year. it's as rough and textural as it looks, but the actual color is a bit richer than it looks here. i don't really care for oil. i need a little more immediate gratification, so i'ma stick with acrylic for now. not sure if there will be any interest in it...but i've posted it here to give friends any first dibs. dibbies. i don't even know what the F 'dibs' means. but if anyone's interested, lemme know.

Jan 26, 2006


there's still something real good about the very first. i'm just noodling it to death i guess:


this thing has gone thru about 5 incarnations, thought i'd start documenting it...useda be a boy devil. nicole doesn't like the girl. more on this later...

Jan 19, 2006

Steve Martin

I grew up a HUGE Steve Martin fan. I could recite all of his comedy records from the 70s. I had a bright orange license plate that said I AM A WILD AND CRAZY GUY. It was silly. He was silly. He was brilliant. The Jerk. Three Amigos. Planes Trains and Automobiles. Dirty, Rotten Scoundrels! MY BLUE GODDAMN HEAVEN!!! Even stepping into the serious with the Spanish Prisoner, brilliant!

So, maybe saying this goes against the popular belief in highbrow culture, but let me just say that Shop Girl was stupid. Insipid even. A jerk-off tale for midlife-crisis rich-businessman jerkoffs. Then we have crap like Bringing Down the House, Cheaper by the Dozen...all a waste of time, money and effort. And now this.

Who the hell does Steve Martin think he is?
My opinion of Steve Martin has gone straight through the floor, sub-basement, and into the circle of hell reserved for hubris-encrusted hasbeens.

And stop saying "min"! The word is "men" with a 'E'!


Jan 9, 2006

Janruary Ninth 2Thousand6

Nothing super major going on right now. Here's a sketch I was working on for something I'd like to paint...i really like the 2:1 ratio, making tall images. Even if you don't like it, please refrain from making mean or annoying comments anonymously on my blog or I will have you sent to jail for 2 years. Thanks, internet friends!

Jan 6, 2006


Now that I've figured out where the gas and clutch are on this thing, I'd like to add some links to other blogs. If anyone has one, send it along. derek@abnormalbrain.com, or add a comment here...

Jan 5, 2006

Back on Track

Well, I can begin attempting to make money and pay my bills again. Computer is up to speed with replacement software etc. I got a lot of sketching and a little bit of painting done in the last few days. Here's a small color study I did yesterday...about life-size...

...and now DHL

Welp, we're done with the Apple repair and the DHL status has said that the computer is "With Courier for Delivery" since 8:36 AM yesterday. I bobbed my goofy face in the window like an attention-starved puppy all day yesterday until about 7pm when I decided to hope, not for the thing to arrive, but that the courier hadn't lost the fucking thing.

OH OH! here we are! as we speak...

Jan 3, 2006

iFeel Better

Looks like "Repair is in Progress." If this all goes smoothly, I'm prepared to eat my words. I will see if i can eat them in either cake- or candy-format.

Jan 2, 2006

Apple continues...

Mr. Compaq Armada here again, with an update on my Apple repair. The update is that there's no update. When I dropped it off Thursday night, they said 10 days. Tick-tock, guys. I understand that it was a holiday weekend and all but my Genius* said it would ship out on Friday night. Well, here's Monday and I've been checking the Apple Support Status Website I Peruse Everyday. It says shipment is still pending.

*The Geniuses wear a black t-shirt that reads in small, white letters "Genius" across the front. This white lettered Genius text should also have an asterisk that refers you to the bottom of the shirt, where it should say "Please, PLEASE don't kick my ass."

Jan 1, 2006

Out with the old...

Well, as I round out the old year and welcome in the new, I do it on a Compaq Armada built during the Great Depression. An historical note: the buttons on this keyboard are actually buttons. From coats. The mouse is made from a used bean-can, apparently. Ba-Klinka! I have to stop writing soon because as the house fills with diesel fumes, I get less cogerent. Slong tory shtort. The Apple maptop that I usually stare at all day is now doing its computing and data storage somewhere in hell. It was a good system and I was able to backup all my crap. But the TRUE crux of the story is... F the Apple Store, or as people now call it, the iPod store. Or as I now call it, the Apple Puts People Last Ever Since the Underrated Computer King Started Selling Ipod Toys store.

I am an AppleCare member. And Apple no longer sells AppleCare, it now be called ProCare. Am I ProCare? Who the fuck knows. I know that since I'm not "officially" a ProCare member (reserved only for Apple newbies), I'm not allowed the courtesy of a human being answering a phone when I call the APPLESUCKSSIT store. Their AppleCare phone lady (I refuse to refer to her as "support") gave me the phone number of the Syracuse store, a phone number which stonewalled me and and referred me to a web-site. A web-site I can easily access from a computer. A broken-ass, fried hard-drive, question-mark-flashing computer. I know this logic stinks like a hog-fart to the ordinary joe off the street, but we're talking about a corporation that has finally begun its race to the bottom. Due, miserably, to the goddamned iPod.

Don't get me wrong, the goddamned iPod has it's uses. The one I bought for Nicole for Xmas (holy damn, that "X" saves time!), was actually quite useful since I was able to back up all my music, art, sketches, ideas and writing on it quickly, a mere 12 hours before the death of the thing. But still -- should I be pleased to have to go to a mall where the dopey store is crammed with sweaty iPod nonafforders? Remember computing? It was what Apple did before they started making what is basically an accessory for the mullets with $329 Dells.

I'm less than pleased that the AppleCare phone number got me through to a woman who had no idea what my computer was outfitted with, even with my serial number (shouldn't that be a simple matter of inventory?), and had no idea what to say without relaying my questions senile-style to some other Genius*...

Me: The computer is flashing a question-mark now.
Her: OK, please hold. [phone is clumsily muffled] He says it's flashing a question-mark.
Unidentified Tech Support Superior: Mee-froo-freefoo moo-moo. Me-me.
Her: OK, shut it down by holding the startup button.
Me: God, you're a stupid dumb ass.
Her: OK, please hold. [phone is clumsily muffled] He says I'm a stupid dumb ass.
Unidentified Tech Support Superior: MEE-MEE! MOO MOO!
Her: OK, I think your computer is dead, I sentence you to the Mall. Shoulda been nicer, dick.

*Genius- (jeen-yus), corporate proper noun. The new name of the Apple support people. In order to compete with equally-insipid corporate dipshit outfits such as Geek Squad, Apple has renamed their formerly-competent tech support team. This name is vigorously arrogant and will soon backfire into a joke among others in the trade.

Also, once you have an appointment at the APPLESUCKSSIT store, you don't check in, or have your name called. You wait until your name comes up on a small screen above the counter. The screen runs demos for the new version of OSX while you stare at it, pathetically waiting for your name to come up on it. When my 15 minutes of fame finally came I was out on a bench in the mall, sick of being sardined by giant-assed, lollipop-mouthed shoppers intent on greasing up the on-display iPods. Those earpieces get very full of ear-dandruff.

A Genius (man, that name sounds sarcastic and insulting, even when used kindly), named Simon who helped me out was fast and helpful, and I have only kind words for him, but man, Apple corporate is really doing its best to ruin a good thing.

End of rant, but only because I only got enough coal at christmas to keep this grinding, beeping monstrosity going for a few more minutes. So, to sum up:

Dear Mr. Jobs,
You're fucking this up.
Your base