Feb 3, 2006

Steve Martin 2

I'm not exactly sure why this is bothering me so much, but on that new pile of dogshit Pink Panther movie with Steve Martin... I was wondering about it. Maybe, I thought, maybe Blake Edwards was directing or writing for it? By no means would I ever consider any of the original Sellers-Panther films a masterpiece. Worthy of a few chuckles, sure.

One of the funniest things in any film was in a Sellers-Panther film. Sellers is fighting his butler Kato, and he karate-jumps through the air in slow motion, realizing too late that he has over-jumped and is going through the wall. The sound for the scene is also slowed down.

So maybe Blake Edwards was involved in this new one? IMDB says sorta/no. According to Edwards' IMDB profile, Edwards had a writing credit for the 2006 film. Listed as 'The Pink Panther (2006) (characters)', I think referring to the origination of the characters and nothing else. The new film's IMDB page shows no mention of Edwards. So who wrote and directed it?

Director: Shaun Levy, most famously directed Cheaper by the Dozen (1 and 2), and Big Fat Liar, the film where Malcom in the Middle paints Paul 'Pig Vomit' Giamatti dark blue to look like a smurf. He also did a bunch of crap for tv.

Writer: Steve Martin, and Len Blum, most famously known for rewriting Private Parts into a screenplay, Stripes, and 2 of the Meatballs films (Me...Ted, Me...Ted, Meathead).

This is who we trust with Peter Sellers' most famous persona?

There's a good chance, due to age-difference that I will outlive Steve Martin. As soon as he dies, I am going to start raising funds to get Urkel into his own tv show. Urkel will wear a white suit with bunny ears and say over and over: "Excuuuuuse me! Did I do that?" Then Urkel will do a series of passable Cheaper by the Dozen remakes and sequels where he plays almost all of the characters. We will hammer the public with cereal, fruit rollup and cheez-it box cross-promotions, action figures, Urkel light-sabers, arrows-thru-the-head and video-games promoting Urkel by the Dozen. Shop Gurkel. Bowfingurkel. Urkel Scared Stupid. Planes, Trains & Automobiles, starring Steve Urkel and that kid who played fat albert. My Blue Urkel. Urky Rotten Scoundrels. The Jurkel, about a guy who invents glasses or something and he's a dad who has a dozen kids and falls off a dock. When he falls off the dock, he gets wet and that's very funny. Also, I think we can use a big bicycle horn to make it even funnier. Maybe Len Blum can write it.

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